Did you guess?
I'm not diabetic.
How cool is that?
In fact, my numbers were lower than during any of my other pregnancies. Screw you genetics!
During one of my four blood draws, I was late. This is a bad thing, apparently. Once you drink the drink (must finish within 5 minutes of starting,) you need to take a blood draw exactly one hour later. I was on time for that one. For the next hour I sat in the hospital lobby and tried to work. An hour later, I walked back to the lab, which was now crowded. I took a seat, surrounded by three moms with babies there to test for jaundice. I felt bad for their babies; I have been there.
One by one, the phlebotomist called them back to prick their babies' heels. I was getting a little antsy, I was 15 minutes over my hour. An elderly couple walked in to have the wife's blood drawn. Finally, I mentioned that I was nearing 20 minutes after the hour. The phlebotomist freaked out. "Why didn't you say something?" I don't know, I thought, why didn't I? I didn't want to be rude to the other people in line.
"Next time, you tell them you're here for glucose and they'll test you right away!" she tsked, pushing the elderly couple out of the way, "You might have to repeat the test!"
Argh. No. That is not possible. That will not happen.
Now...I knew that they had a baseline and the first hour on time. I knew that when it came for my last draw I'd hustle into the joint and demand a test. It kind of didn't matter when they took the second test during the time allotted. All it would take is a little bit of math: you have the numbers, you have the timeline, you can figure the rate of change vs. the time for the second test. I was annoyed they'd even suggest I repeat the test. Annoyed enough that I called J. "Oh," he laughed, "So now you want people to be good at math?"
"Yes," I answered, "Or I'll demand they give you the numbers and you can do the really extreme calculations it would take to get that number." Seriously, just because I know it can be done doesn't mean I want to do it. I outsource my math.
When it was over I went to the car and had a refined flour baguette with pure orange juice fructose. It was delicious and I didn't have to pass out while driving.
P.S. Each of the two phlebotomists did two draws on me. The first phlebotomist was marvelous; her draws didn't hurt at all. The second phlebotomist's draws hurt. However, where the first drew had a far larger and more painful bruise than the site where the second drew--which didn't hurt at all.
What's that about?
Does it mean that the Mayans are right about 2012? Because that's the direction I'm leaning.
Monday, March 07, 2011