Monday, May 02, 2011

The Birthday Presents

(I might be a little bit pregnant.)

My mom started laughing nervously after dinner last night. “First of all, I went to the mall to try to find you a present, and you know how I hate the mall.”
“I do know that.”
“And I looked and looked for a present but had no idea what to get you and there was so much stuff going on and so many stores and it was crowded...”
“So you panicked and bought whatever was in front of you?”
“YES! I’m so sorry. I don’t know. There was a kiosk and I didn’t know what to do and I bought a bunch of things from it and I’m sorry!” she said apologetically as she handed me a white plastic bag with four headbands inside with humongous sequin and feather flowers larger than my head, a pile of pastel jewelry, and some earrings that were pretty cute.
“It’s OK, mom” I giggled.
“But isn’t the necklace pretty?” She said.
“It’s very pretty,” I agreed.
“You don’t like it.”
“It’s just that I can’t wear pastels; it doesn’t go with anything I have. But you like it! You should keep it!”

Some people are blessed with the gift-giving gene, and some people are...not. My poor mother. She has absolutely no idea what to buy her children, but she really wants to buy things for us. This results in a motley vision of plastic bags wrapped around oddly-colored (yet cashmere!) sweater-sets from DI, strange matching jewelry that we’d never wear, Japanese-inspired poly-silk robes, inexplicable items from Ross Dress For Less, or satin shoes (what?)

The other problem is that she buys things, stashes them, and can’t remember where she put them. Half of Christmas morning she spends walking around saying, “I thought I got something else for you guys...I wonder where they went.” There’s the year she gave my sister the same pair of flannel pajamas she gave her the year before. It’s kind of endearing.

“How about this, “ I suggested, “We go back to the mall together, return these things, and you can spring for a nice pair of flats.”
“OK,” she concedes, “And I’m SORRY.”


whitneyingram said...

My MIL is like this, but she doesn't think she does a bad job. One day, I was cleaning out cupboards and closets and getting ready to take things to the thrift store. After making my big pile, I realized almost everything was from my mother in-law for either a birthday or Christmas.

cabesh said...

I love your mom. Truly, she was my favorite Spanish teacher at the BYU.

Happy Birthday!

Kim said...

I love this post.

My mother has the same sort of affliction. She has a great idea for a gift and then gives it *multiple times*. One Christmas I asked for workout clothes and got them . . . for the next five Christmases.

FoxyJ said...

Several years ago I mentioned that I like Eddie Bauer. For the last four years (at least) I have received a gift card to Eddie Bauer for every birthday and Christmas from my mother. I like their clothes, but I also like variety. At least she is not still buying me My Little Ponies--she did that up through my 16th birthday.

Jenny said...

Your mom sounds awesome. My mom gives money. It would be fun to have that exciting surprise each holiday with your mom though!

luna said...

my mom always forgets a present too... she apologizes but i always say it just extends the holiday or birthday fun when she finds it later... oh and by the way, you probably are a little pregnant

The redhead said...

Happy Birthday!

And dang girl. You sure are pregnant. I'm sure you already knew that though, but there are some people who actually don't . . until they birth it on the toilet. :)

Nemesis said...

I think you look fab. And that's funny about your mom struggling with presents, because I consider you to be a great gift-giver. I guess that gene came from someone else.

Aim said...

I can relate to your mother, some people I can come up with great gifts and other people I do a terrible job. One of the people I am terrible at buying gifts for is my husband. It's very sad.

Don't take this wrong I mean it as a complement. I am so happy that you look pregnant, I am someone that for sure looks pregnant from 10 weeks on. I am pregnant right now, I'm 15 weeks and I know 4 different women that are due in the next 2 months and I have a bigger baby belly than any of them.

Hilary said...

I don't say this often, ask my friends.
But man, you are PREGNANT.
How many weeks do you have left?

Annette Lyon said...

Holy crap, my mom does the same thing. Growing up, Christmas morning became a joke as she inevitably jumped up to find a present she'd forgotten about, stowed away behind something on a random shelf.

kami @ said...

No I have guilt! I completely forgot to wish you a happy birthday weekend!

I am your Mom! I'm awful!

Here's hoping you get a nice pair of "sensible shoes" as I like to call them, for the last few months of your pregnancy.

Amy said...

Oh wow. My mother-in-law. Her gift-giving intentions are impossibly inhibited by her cheapness. One time she gave me the free gift bag from Clinique. One time she gave me a gift card, and when I went to use it, I found out it had $17.68 on it. Hm.

dmarie said...

that's so sweet. your poor mom. she really tries. my mom is also one who hides stuff, and forgets it's there. i like it cuz i get presents in february that she meant to give me for Christmas! :)

yep...pregnant for sure. i love that look.

Azúcar said...

Amy, I am laughing really, really hard at that right now.

Hilary- I have, judging by the arrival dates of the two children I have now, between 3 and 9 weeks to go. Oh crap.

Aim, Thank you! I hate those pictures, too. You look like you swallowed a pummelo? Shoot. Way to be pregnant. I get to look PREGNANT. I'm short and short waisted, that baby has no place to go but out. Bam.

Laura: The Sushi Snob said...

When it comes time for Christmas/my birthday (they fall on the same day, and I love it), my MIL pesters me about what I want. My problem is that I'm more comfortable telling my mom what I want than I am telling my MIL. I need to pursue this in therapy.

But last Christmas, she did do a good job. A very good job: a wheat grinder and some essential oils. :)

Kalli Ko said...

I give my MIL props because she is an excellent gift giver. My mom isn't so shabby either, although this year I did get shampoo and conditioner. Seriously.

I love looking pregnant, it is by far my favorite state of being.

Jan S said...

I already love your mom. She reminds me so much of mine, who is battling serious cancer right now. My mom ALWAYS buys things for us and cannot recall what she did with it. She is also the sweetest thing with the best of intentions. She also apologizes up and down, like your mom! Enjoy every moment and every little quirk she has...we'll miss that someday.

Bebe McGooch said...

Happy Birthday for reals.

You look beautiful.