Friday, June 10, 2011
I'm at the stage now where you can't actually stand up after you've been sitting and start moving, you have to stand up, and then wait until everything adjusts. Next comes the part where you tell yourself, Kill Bill style, to move your legs. Move your leg. Go ahead, move it forward. That way. No, seriously, move it. If you're lucky, one of your legs will start moving while your spine screams a rabbit-like protestation.
If there's a wall nearby, all the better, because you don't actually have to pick up your leg, you can kind of lean over, put your hand on the wall, and then try to get your legs to move. After a couple of staggering steps, you feel comfortable enough to push your hands into the small of your back to balance the weight pushing down your front and keep moving your legs. And you thought pushing hands into a lower back was a cliche!
Yesterday morning, after eating oatmeal with dried fruits and nuts, I had raging heartburn. That's ridiculous. There should be no such thing as morning heartburn, and if there is, by Poseidon's Trident I'm going to switch over to chili dogs and hot wings because suffering for granola is stupid. Let's see how you like heartburn NOW, baby doll!
Now, let's gild the lily with a hacking cough with a stuffy nose. I am the picture of glowing abundance! I am Gaia! All should welcome my radiance and post-nasal drip!
Over at Today's Mama:
Summer Time and Bedtimes
Keeping Kids Up and Busy