Wednesday, July 13, 2011

SKE-Dual or SHHED-jewel?

Do NOT schedule your husband’s vasectomy at the same time as your baby’s 3 week growth spurt and your Grand Uncle's funeral, because Lawsy Mcgee, it was crazy today.

I’m the opposite of a scheduling savant, it seems. I realized last week that I scheduled my first hair appointment in almost a year at the exact same time as J’s Big V. I didn’t immediately cancel because the buildings are literally half a block away from each other. And if you’re practical, like me, you’d realize that it was really a gas saving trip! Besides, I was just going to be sitting in a waiting room anyway, I might as well pop over to the salon and get all pretty, right?
J did not see it that way.

“Let me put it this way, “ he said, “If you are not there when I am done...”

No need to finish that sentence, Snips O’Hoolihan.

Snips is not allowed to lift anything, is supposed to just take it easy for 5 days by lying on the couch and watching movies (Doctor’s Orders!) I can’t help but compare with how my medical professional said at least 2 weeks of taking it easy! Only PJs! No picking up anything heavier than the baby! I mostly listened (except for that night I didn’t and moved the sectional by myself and steam cleaned the family room carpet and then had to spent the next day on bed rest because I should have listened all the way.)

Anyway. 5 days. This means my kids have two parents who are doing a lot of sitting and lying down, playing chicken with the doorbell. I hope they don’t grow up to be lazy and have no work ethic because of these 5 days and 2 weeks.

Oh, fluffernutter, I couldn’t bear raising, then loosing, lazy children on the world. I mean, all children are lazy, but they grow out of it if you make them work hard enough, I’ve found (because I was a lazy child and my parents worked me until I screamed.)

Baby Lulu is working me until I pass out. Growth spurts! So fun! She can’t be hungry again, can she? (Yes.) Why is she still awake? (Hungry.) Will I ever sleep again? (No.)

I was going to tell you more about the Adventures of Lulu and Snips, but Lulu is yelling at me again and I am powerless to resist.

Over at Today’s Mama:
Third Child, Can You Step it Up?


jennyonthespot said...

OK. So. Lulu. Yum. That sweet baby head. She is the precious-est.

eliana23 said...

she is ridiculously good looking. Enjoy her demands, more than Mr. Snips who should just be brave.

Tzipporah said...

And you found the time to write. You deserve a freaking medal.

fijiangirl said...

Just hand Mr. Snips a bag of frozen peas and call it good for the day! And I could just stare at Baby Lulu's picture all day long, but then again if I did I would be the one raising lazy kids.

Emily said...

I was just about to say what fijiangirl said--throw a few bags of frozen peas at his crotch (gently, of course) and tell him to suck it up. We did the snip-snip thing after Livi was born and Nathan tried to milk every moment of his recovery. I ignored him.

And Baby Lulu? That photo is powerful enough to make me want to get pregnant again. Good thing that spigot's been turned off!

Heather M said...

I believe it's SKED-jewel! I think if you just yell a lot at your kids they'll be fine! Just kidding--I'm sure they'll all turn out okay! Just enjoy your time with Lulu and don't worry about the other stuff.