Friday, October 14, 2011

It's a Pot Boiler!

I've jetted off to Seattle to see if I can make a pot boil just by watching it.

Not that it's not fun to walk around downtown Seattle with all the homeless people and women without makeup, but it's more fun when you're making your pregnant sister walk around with you. I like hearing her say, "Yesterday" when people ask her when she's due. I will not like it so much on Sunday when I have to fly home and she will not have had my first nephew. We also think it's funny when she's holding Baby Lulu and is awfully pregnant in public. A decent woman would be in her confinement! You can see people doing the baby math in their heads and trying to figure out this hyper-fertile lesbian couple taking the light rail.

The day before I left Proximo woke up with a sore throat and quickly developed a fever. I'm no over-reactor, so I just kept an eye on him. My eye does not possess magical healing powers, because he added vomiting to his symptoms by 7pm that night. He woke up every two hours after that complaining that his tummy hurt, but that he did NOT need to throw up, and then threw up. (See? Even if the baby sleeps through the night doesn't mean I get to sleep.) I was in more of a panic than usual, so after touching him, or wiping up his inaccurate aiming, I'd scrub my hands vigorously and then follow with anti-bacterial hand sanitizer. I was terrified of the baby getting sick.

Today, after three days of fever that wasn't abating, and me two states away, J took Proximo to the doctor where he was given scarlet fever. You pay a co-pay and you get a disease in return, right? Excellent.

Sometimes, after these doctors appointments where they award your child something scary, all I can think is, "100 years ago my child would have died from this."

The tooth abscess E.G. developed in July of his 6th year? Dead.
Proximo's scarlet fever? Dead.

If I'm feeling especially soft I'll cry over the dead child I do not have but would have had. Yes, I have that many spare tears.

Today my watched pot and I will head off for more bargain hunting and to meet Marie for a snack. At least that's the plan if my nefarious plot to send her into labor by schlepping all over the city followed by Internet-assisted foot reflexology didn't work.

Boil, pot, boil!


Kate said...

Did Mary Ingalls lose her sight due to scarlet fever? So not always dead, sometimes just blind...

wendysue said...

My Whitney had "the fevah" when she was little too, and I did the "My child would have died!" cry too.

p.s. I've since learned that in my kids, sore throat+puke=strep throat. (EVERY time!) It's a new equation that I've had to learn.

I hope that pot boils quickly!!

BowlerGirl said...

I tried at home reflexology then took myself off to a professional to help me out earlier this week. I hope your sis has a better outcome than I did. Still waiting here for something to happen.

Kalli said...

She has less than 24 hours at this point. The thing is, I'd be so dejected at being more than a week over due and watching you fly away that I'd go into labor out of spite.

But what am I talking about. Both of my babies have been forced out.

Anonymous said...

This is a great chance to get revenge for every sisterly misdeed by googling "how to stimulate labor" and going for it

Mary said...

I hear running a marathon will induce labor. Also, I hate the chick that did that when I could barely walk from the couch to the fridge at 9 months.

Leisha Mareth said...

I have taken a blog breather for a year (or two) and am just now catching up on my old faves. This one is even better than I remember. I foresee lots of late-night catching up reading in my future. Congrats on the new baby girl, she is delicious!

Layla said...

I've hung out a couple if times with your sister in Seattle and I think she is fab! Can't wait to see her and her little guy!