Anytime I see something that seems to be absolutely ridiculous, only one thing comes to mind, "Are their toilets really that clean?"
Take the entirety of newspaper online comments. Yes, all of them. The mean, stupid, cruel comments that trolls leave on news outlet stories are mind-boggling. Are their toilets so clean that they have nothing better to do than leave nasty comments? Are those bathrooms just sparkling, filled with fluffy towels, and lightly scented of the freshest rain?
There's the world of crafting: where people make painfully tiny things out of the plastic tags they've collected from bread bags. Where every last cereal box is transformed into either a layered diorama of pioneer history or a darling hair bow. Does she really have that kind of time to devote to a craft that most of us find inexplicable? Are her toilets truly that clean?
What about writing out a scathing comment to leave on someone's blog? Are your toilets so clean that you have the energy to pick out a bunch of words, arrange them in a text box, fill out the captcha, and "submit"?
How about deciding that a woman's jeans are too skinny and denying her the right to take a test? Is your house so tidy, your bathroom unfettered from any hint of yellow and freshly stocked with new soap?
If your books are arranged by color, just know that I would like to powder my nose at your house.
Your spatulas are alphabetized. Your pastas are in jars sorted according to size. You have time to watch Two and Half Men. Because if your baseboards are clean, we don't even need to ask the question, the answer is, "Of course."
How about sending the author of a post a really long email detailing their many failings, their lack of parenting (or excessive parenting,) their moral bankruptcy, calling them to repentance, explaining how your ecclesiastical leader told them that a certain behavior was wrong and now you're passing it along in the hope that you can save their eternal soul? Are your toilets really that clean?
(Disclosure: Are my toilets so clean that I had time to write this post? No.)