SALT LAKE CITY — A conservative action group in Utah says the online petition urging Gov. Gary Herbert to veto an abstinence-only sex education bill is "bogus."
Utah Eagle Forum president Gayle Ruzicka says she has several problems with the petition hosted by signon.org, but one of the most pressing is credibility. She believes it's too easy to make up a name and sign the petition...
Many people speaking out against HB363 say it amounts to a step backward in the state, pointing to ignorance among teens who become pregnant. A recent survey found 25 percent of younger teen moms in Utah thought either they or their partner was sterile; half thought they couldn't get pregnant when they conceived.
The petition Ruzicka calls "bogus" has over 37,000 signatures as of noon on Tuesday.
I just can't believe that Gayle Ruzicka exists. I've never seen her. I've also never seen her online. She's never appeared in my Twitter feed. I haven't seen her post a single Facebook status update. I remember looking for Gayle on Friendster and being out of luck. Right after Tom and I became friends on MySpace I tried to find Gayle and was curiously unsuccessful. No user named GayleRuzicka has ever accepted my many attempts to play a Words With Friends game. Frankly, if she's not on the Internet, there's a high possibility that Gayle Rizicka is a figment of someone's terrible imagination, conjured like all dastardly opinionated bogeymen to scare innocent children and logical people.
I vaguely remember Gayle from when I was in high school. She was the topic of discussion even then, but I have just gotten to the point where I think she doesn't exist. I mean, it's been twenty years since I was in high school and I have never actually seen her. Yet, her spectre still haunts me after all this time, as my longest-running recurring nightmare of Kruegerian proportions.
And if I have to tell the honest truth, what kind of name is Gayle Ruzicka? It sounds made up. People don't have names like that. People have names like Rasmussen. Tayler. Olson. Fielding-Smith. People don't actually walk around and tell people their name is "Ruzicka", do they? Just doesn't sound plausible. Try again, "Gayle."
When I called Governor Herbert's office at 801-538-1000 and put my name down as opposing the fartingly stupid HB363, no one named "Gayle" answered the phone. I asked the Governor to veto the bill, and I think he'd better, because people are really, really, pissed about this one.
This is supposed to be a picture of a "Gayle Ruzicka":
Oh, come now, that can't be real. That has to be some sort of Faceoff challenge winner as dressed by Project Runway Allstars reject Mila.
I mean, we can't possibly think that this bitter old person who doesn't have a child in public school has the right to tell 90% of Utahns that they're bogus, right? Surely you're joking.
This is all a colossal joke, right? YOU GOT ME, "EAGLE FORUM"! LOLOL!