Wednesday, August 08, 2012

City Face

Baby and I jetted off to New York last week for work. Well, I went to work, but Lulu went to play. She insisted on walking down to the Flatiron District. She also insisted that she should get hit by a cab on account of her being in New York, and became enraged when I refused. When she tried to dive off a subway platform I was similarly uncooperative. I'm the worst, really.

You and I might raise our eyebrows at $800 strollers, but pushing a perfectly adequate suburban stroller around the city for several days makes you realize that for some people, strollers are serious business. They have to negotiate rough walkways and yet collapse with a touch to get into a cab. They should support the weight of all our errands and groceries, but be easy enough to sling over your shoulder for a run down the stairs to catch the subway. Bless you city dwellers with the budgets for $1200 origami folding strollers with hydraulics, LED lighting, GPS, and matte racing stripes, for you need them.

Every time I go to New York I put on my City Face. 

Steps to City Face:
  1. Wipe that smile off your face
  2. Allow your mouth to settle into a natural scowl
  3. Look straight ahead
  4. DO NOT look people in the eye
  5. LET ALONE greet people with a nod or, heaven forbid, a "Good morning!"
  6. Assume you have a right to be everywhere
  7. Walk faster
  8. Walk around
  9. Walk through

There! Now you're ready for New York! Just don't try to dive off a Subway platform, it's just not done (not even if you're Lulu.)

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