How I Get Ready for a Trip

What I Think will Happen When I'm Getting Ready for a Trip

1. Every single piece of laundry in the house cleaned, folded, pressed, and put away
2. A completely cleaned house, top-to-bottom shining like the top of the Chrysler Building
3. Organized books and magazines, re-alphabetize books and DVDs 
4. A freezer full of meals ready to defrost, heat, and serve
5. Washed and cut fruits and veggies for healthy kid snacking
6. All broken things around house magically fixed and every picture straightened
7. Fluffy pillows
8. Mail sorted and errands finished
9. My visiting teaching for the month completed
10. A week's worth of blog posts queued and ready to publish
11. A calm and thoughtful packing with no more items than I absolutely need
12. All packing fits in a tiny weekender bag, even if I am traveling for days and with a baby
13. Lawn cut and edged, flower areas weeded and tidied yard
14. Vacuum out the car and clean the baby's seat
15. A folder with things to do with the kids while I'm gone organized by date and age
16. Put new screens on the windows
17. Buy the Economist and bring along New Yorkers for good airplane reading
18. Fix a sandwich and healthy snacks to take with so we don't have to eat airport food
19. A plate of freshly baked blueberry muffins on the kitchen table so that when the kids awake, they'll know their mother loves them
20. Kiss and hug all the family staying goodbye
21. Arise early and calmly wait for my ride to the airport with a happy baby at my side

What Probably Happens When I'm Getting Ready for a Trip

1. I run around for three days like a frog in a frying pan
2. Half my mail is organized, the other half gets thrown into a pile to deal with later
3. I buy way too many things at the grocery store that my family doesn't really need
4. I'm up half the night burning CDs for no good reason, really
5. I buy some Jarlsberg cheese, Crispix, and 3 boxes of whatever sugar cereal is on sale, and a package of bacon
6. We eat leftovers
7. I leave no leftovers for while I'm gone
8. I freeze go-gurts hoping that they're healthy?
9. Pack 14 pairs of high heels and no sneakers
10. Experience great sadness and regret that I haven't finished the quilt I started a year ago, consider maybe just sewing a couple squares?
11. No one has a toothbrush anymore
12. I pack three suitcases and a baby bag with "options" for wardrobe
13. Forget about watering any plants, let alone whatever is happening with the lawn
14. Owe a dozen people email responses or phone calls back
15. I can't find my Kindle
16. I panic about flying with a baby
17. Decide to tailor a dress
18. Can't find The Economist, pick up an US Weekly
19. Debate about packing laptop, because honestly, who would steal a 5 year old Dell that weighs 1,000 pounds and can't hold a charge?
20. Give up on sleep
21. Leave with all the car keys in my purse
22. Go to the grocery store 17 times
23. Buy packaged meat for an increasingly less healthy take-along sandwich because deli is closed
24. Hope the kids find frozen blueberries--almost like a muffin? 
25. Sleep through 4 of my alarms and try to get everything I left to the last minute downstairs to where my ride has been waiting for 20 minutes
26. Grumpy baby

Lulu and I are off to New York.

Wish us luck.

(Please)