jetsetgreen

Friday, January 08, 2010

What Was I Thinking? No, Help Me, WHAT?

We haven't talked about the disaster that was my hair in 2009.

I got this cockamamie idea to grow my hair out last Spring. I thought that I might be able, with the assistance of a really good ceramic straightening iron and an unreasonable grasp of my own limitations, to grow my hair long and still have it look good. There was also a theory floating around about still growing it out while I was young enough to pull off long hair.

So it was that I sat in Patrick's chair in April and informed my favorite stylist that I would be growing my hair out. He snickered, "You?"
"Yes, I think I should try it."
"If you say so."
"No, really, I'm going to straighten it!"
"Everyday?"
"Everyday!" I enthusiastically agreed. He went back to shaping my hairs and changed the subject. Good man.

See, I have really curly hair, loads of spirals and waves, but the kind that is fine, thin, and can be straightened. It's also the kind of hair that if it's not straightened, and is long, would be the envy of 1987. Yes, I naturally have 1987 hair. I have not had long hair since the late 90s. I cut it all off in 2000 and haven't really looked back. That's not true, I've looked back aplenty at photographs and most of the time yelled in futility, "SELF, you should have CUT YOUR HAIR a LONG time ago!"

However, I felt brave. I could do it, right?
June came by and went, and I held steady. July arrived. I was overdue for a cut. I would put my hair in hot rollers, then straighten it, then into velcro rollers to cool. The hair took on a slightly newscaster-type vibe. And then, because it was summer, the slightest bit of sweat would start curling my roots, frizzing out tendrils, and tightly curl my ends. I held strong. August I felt uneasy. Well, who wouldn't? It's August, the worst month of the year. I couldn't possibly straighten my hair even every other day. I started wearing it up in desperation. I drove past the hair salon and rubbernecked. By September I was in such dire straights I bought a Bumpit. In October I started wearing it. In November my friend Tiffany asked me, "How much longer are you going to grow your hair?"
"I'm not sure."
"Don't let it get any longer than that, OK?"
"OK."


November. Dooce sports short hair. I look like I'm from the sticks.

Inversely, the longer my hair got and the more despondent I felt, the more Other Half encouraged me. I wore my hair up all the time in an effort to get out of straightening it. "You could wear it in a pony tail!" he suggested.
"I don't think I can," I whined, knowing that my thin, straight hair in a pony tail looked flat and unflattering. And curly hair in a pony tail? 1987 in a gym.
"Keep going! You can do it!"
My hair was below my shoulders and I hadn't felt that miserable in years.

"When are you getting a haircut?" My mom asked forcefully one day as I walked in her door. I sighed in relief and called to make the appointment. How would I tell Other Half? I wouldn't. Maybe I could wear a hat for a while.
A few days later Other Half said without prompting, "Your hair has gotten so long, but if you want to cut your hair, I guess you can."
"Mmmm," I responded noncommittally, not mentioning I had already booked an appointment.
Two days later I drove as fast as I dared to Shep's, I ran down the ramp and burst into the salon. "HELP ME, PATRICK!" I yelled.




Ahhhhh.

Short hair. Curls everywhere. The world as it should be.

48 comments:

Fig said...

I envy your curls and your dark color. Which, I know, everyone wants what they don't have. But still, I think your hair is pretty. The end.

FoxyJ said...

My hair is not curly at all, but I did once try to grow it out shortly after we got married. I lasted almost a year, with most of that time in an ugly ponytail. For the last few months my husband and I fought several times a week about whether I should cut it or not. He 'loved' my long hair. Then I went to the salon and got a cute, short cut again. The minute I got home he said "oh, I like that'. And he's never bugged me about having long hair again.

Azúcar said...

My hair is pretty NOW, Fig, since order has been restored.

Mona said...

Three cheers for short hair!

Kacy said...

Ditto.

Hannah said...

no picture of the new do? can't wait to see it.

Azúcar said...

It's a few weeks old at this point. As soon as I can snap a picture this morning I'll put it up.

rookie cookie said...

What about a cute, highlighted A-line cut. If it apparently works for everyone, why shouldn't it work for you???!!!

I wear my hair long and don't plan on changing that anytime soon. I want to be like Marilla on "Anne of Green Gables". Long, gray and braided at night.

Azúcar said...

And it suits you completely, Whitney.

A couple months of enviously staring at long, flowing locks had me convinced I could do the same. I CANNOT.

I love the idea of you in a long, gray braid with crinkles around your eyes and a plate full of cookies for your grandbabies. I love the idea of me in a short, gray bob, with a set of clubs and a few grandbabies waiting for me when I get back from Palm Springs.

Becca said...

Post a before and after? Pretty please? I have just decided to grow out my hair a little and currently have helmet head. I will probably be running to cut it all off in the not too distant future too.

gurrbonzo said...

Well, as long as you're happy.

I happen to adore newscasters, and 1987.

Nemesis said...

I can't believe no one has jumped on this yet, but . . . a BUMPIT????

BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Sorry. And now I am done laughing. It does show, though, just how very committed you were to the long hair idea.

Also, your now-hair is gorgeous. And so are you.

noelle said...

i had no idea you go to patrick! i go to shep and you should see the look i got last time when i reminded him that we are growing my hair out.

also, i had no idea you had been sporting a bumpit. that is commitment my friend.

Emily Hill said...

I'm a big fan of short hair, probably because I only have time to do one thing in the morning: hair or makeup. And believe me, the world is glad I choose makeup. Hence the easy, short hairstyle. I love that you've gone short once again. Whoo hoo!

And rookie cookie? Thanks for the "Anne of Green Gables" note. I loved that series. It's been a while since I've had my fill of Gilbert Blythe. I may just need to read it all again!

Kerry said...

I'm a big fan of the SLC Aura hair salon. They specialize in curls and make even long ones look pretty. I go to Kara.

http://www.cutcolorcurls.com/

FoxyJ said...

My mom has had long hair for many years and refuses to get what she calls a "relief society helmet cut". Her hair is now completely gray (silver as she likes to call it). And it actually suits her very well--she likes to wear it in a twist or braid. She recently blogged about some semi-creepy guy at Trader Joe's gushing about her fabulous hair. I guess the point is that everyone should find the hairdo that is best for them.
And no one should have Bumpits :)

Word Verification: swordier (is that some kind of adjective for Shakespeare?)

Annette Lyon said...

Speaking of old hair, I showed my girls my old drill team videos. Their first comment: "Mom, your hair is HUGE!"

Yes, yes, it was.

Petit Elefant said...

It's be-yooo-tiful. I too shed several inches the other day. Sure, it was newscaster-y for a while, but it will pass.

seven smiles said...

laughing. so. hard.
I, too, have 1987 hair: fine, spiral curls that can be straightened. Which I do most of the time.
My hair is {was} the envy of all.

In 1987.

You didn't REALLY buy a bumpit,
did you??!

Camels East said...

The hair is fab, my dear...

I was sporting "The Dooce" for quite some time, when My stylist got this brill idea to give me a pixie. Give ME a PIXIE.

So, now I'm in the opposite spectrum where everyone around me asks, "How long are you going to have short hair? Don't you miss your long hair? I thought it was so pretty. Long hair is so fun."
Hints taken.

Bumpitland, here I come.

Azúcar said...

I really did buy a Bumpit. I figured it could only help. Here's the thing about Bumpits: if you have fine hair you will spend most of the day convinced everyone can see through your Bumpit like some sort of sad, pathetic plastic cage on your head. 40% of the time you will be right.

It's my secret shame.

Related news: Bumpit for sale! Half price!!

Cat said...

Classic. I'm in an opposite predicament. I have almost always had long hair, but I am convinced I should give short hair a try. Even though the few times I have had short(ish) hair have not turned out well.

As soon as my summer highlights finish fading I will be donating my hair to Locks of Love, so, whatever. I'm sure I can rock the short hair.

And if not, there's always the Bumpit. Maybe I'll buy yours... ;)

Kalli Ko said...

And there you are, just as you should be :-)

Lucky for me I can swing both ways, long or short. Unlucky for me it takes an hour or more to regardless. Stupid hair.

Shar said...

I like your curls. They're pretty. I'm jealous.

La Yen said...

Welcome back, non-dance-team friend.

Cafe Johnsonia said...

If I'd seen this post before lunch today, I wouldn't have proclaimed the obvious "YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!"

I love it and I love you. The curls are where it's at. I envy those darling curls.

Patrick said the same thing when I told him I wanted to cut my hair short. So I went with bangs. And we remember how that turned out...

Then I cut it super short and was in heaven. Now it's ugly/long again. Do you think I could pull off a buzz cut? 'Cause that's where I'm at.

Maybe I need a bumpit. If you aren't going to be needing yours anymore...

Jenny said...

Dude. I think I'm going crazy. I thought you were like the ultimate wisdom woman when it came to curly hair and when I first saw that picture of you @ the book signing I was like, her eyebrows look great, but there is something about her hair that I just can't put my finger on.

I think that since I know you are miss smart with the curly hair, I just always imagine you with short curls. I'm thinking back to all the times I've seen you and I still can't picture you without your current hair cut. Was it curly in Dec?

Anne-Marie said...

Funny, you don't strike me as a bump it kind of gal.

I'll admit I bought one too, but after 2 seconds, I hated it.

I say don't fight nature. Your hair is amazing. My hair is getting straighter with age & hormonal shifts & I miss my curls.

Kami said...

I love it too! Makes me want to go short!

Jen, RN said...

I remember your long hair from the 80's/early 90's-great stuff! I have the opposite problem-I can only wear my naturally curly hair long-I would love to wear it short and curly but it looks weird with my face, and although I promise I'll straighten it every day it doesn't happen. Oh well.

fijiangirl said...

I've been growing our my hair for a year now. All in the hopes that I can get 8 inches to donate along with my daughter who will donate over 10 when she gets her first hair cut ever at age 6! Her hair is long and gorgeous, way past her butt. My hair is thin, fine and looks awful. It won't hold any type of curl, I've tried everything, Velcro, hot rollers curling iron and even that special hair dryer with a rolling brush attached. I seriously hope I can hold out until I have my 8 inches. So here is how this post has helped me... I was actually going to invest in a bumpit.. you have convinced me otherwise.

You are rockin those short curls! Love it.

Bek said...

We have the same hair ( fine hair, lots of it, mine not quite so curly). Maybe I need to visit this partrick. I am almost grey though so he is going to work some color magic too.

Your cut looks great.

Geo said...

Patrick laughed at me recently when I confessed that I am trying to live a good life so I will be resurrected with dream curls.

So, we all have to try new things sometimes, even buy the occasional Bumpit, but I am so glad you finally reclaimed your gorgeousness.

Beeswax said...

I do that! Hot rollers then straight iron! Too much curl to go at it straight on. Mine isn't as curly as yours, but when I attempted short hair, I encountered about 40 cowlicks I hadn't before known existed. It took me 45 minutes just to get out of the house in the morning. I can't live that way. So I wear lots of ponytails. Which I guess means 1987 in the gym.

b. said...

You're right...I like your hair short.
But do you really think you looked like you were from the sticks with it long? Maybe with the bumpit...I don't know how I feel about that.

I think we have similar hair. Straightening is a bugger. I think I'm realizing I would probably look better with shorter hair.

Azúcar said...

I FELT like I was from the sticks, don't know if that's necessarily applied across the board.

craftyashley said...

I've always been jealous of curly hair! Mine is all straight and boring. Bleh. Maybe I just need a bumpit... ha!

Michelle said...

Yes- Long hair does tend to make one desperate. I too have thought of using a bump it. You look wonderful with short hair especially curly short hair.

thedoodlegirl said...

You are gorgeous!!

Melanie J said...

Um, I really love it.

Sarahf said...

I'm a curly haired girl like you. I tried growing it out last year too (freaky coincidence) but gave up when I noticed that, when I straightened it, I had a similar coiffure to a lego man. It had to go, and I feel so much better. I have no idea what a bumpit is though, maybe we don't have them in Japan.

annie said...

i tried to do this last year, and i was reminded of why i had chopped my ridiculous hair off in the first place. because my hair just can't do long. and i'm not even curly...just straight in the back and curly on the sides like a possessed-looking rabbi. but your new cut looks fantastic! patrick is fantastic! maybe let's just destroy the bumpit...

The Bakers said...

Shep saves my life every six to eight weeks. I would MUCH rather have short hair, but outside forces have control. So alas, I grow.

Vanessa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs JP Chaos said...

Love the hair. The curls are fantastic.

Vanessa said...

DARN (had to go in and fix that, did I leave that late at night?!)
DARN why didn't I suck in my tummy for that picture.
Sorry I couldn't read the post thats all I could focus on.

LJ said...

I adore your hair. I often spend 30 minutes wrestling with my straight iron to achieve your look. But, dang, it's worth it.

Jeannie said...

oh yea, the shorter hair with curls is fresh and modern. sophisticated. soooo much betterrrr than ... what you had before.

however, one question: what does the wearing of a 'bump it' actually FEEL like?