NORRIS: What do you make of that? How do you respond to someone who feels like you've been there too long?Sen. BENNETT: There really is no response. Some of my supporters would report conversations they would have. One in particular said to this woman: Who are you voting for? She said: I'm voting for Cherilyn Eager. Why? Well, she loves the Constitution. All right, Senator Bennett loves the Constitution. Yeah, but Cherilyn Eager loves it more. And finally, my supporter said, well, I guess there's nothing I can say to you. And they said no, because I want somebody who really, really loves the Constitution. source
I feel like I've been remiss: I haven't communicated to you how much I love the U.S. Constitution. No, I love the Constitution. I remember the first time I truly learned about the Constitution, it was 1987, the 200th anniversary. Guys, I fell hard and fast. The sheer rush of the articles, the undulating paragraphs, the heavy breathing of the amendments; it was like nothing I'd ever known before, or would ever know again.
When I read the preamble, start perusing the sections, it's like main-lining bliss. By the time I'm knee deep in the 14th amendment, the adoration has taken hold. I'm pretty sure this is what the Rapture would feel like. If anything should hurt a line of its sections, a corner of its parchment, I swear I'd die. Simply drop dead. I don't think "divinely-inspired" covers it. Maybe the Constitution is divine itself?
In fact, why isn't the Constitution scripture? It ought to be! Throw out that King James, my friend, forget your Korans, toss those Torahs! All you need are the dulcet tones of the framers' prose! I take every section, every word as the deepest devotion, even that whole 3/5ths of a person thing--it's all delicious, every bit of it, no matter what!
And if you don't think that the Constitution is like chocolate mousse, holding your first baby, a hug from your mother, Robert Pattinson, and heroin, all wrapped up in an adorable federalist ribbon, you must be some sort of fascist-communist (who is probably trying to collectivize our land and paradoxically personifying the state in that friend of yours who still wears a trucker hat and is prone to violent fits.)
Some people have accused me of not loving the Constitution, some have even said that measuring love is an completely subjective process and that applying it to something like a governing document is nonsensical. How dare they? The unmitigated gall! Here is your measurement: take my heart, take my soul, take my children, just give me my Constitution.
Seriously, the Constitution is so awesome that I think I'm going to get it tattooed on me; it's already on my heart--metaphorically, of course (for now.) What I'd really like to do, if I have a little time, is to take our U.S. Constitution and carve it into gold. I already have a vaguely cow-shaped gold lump made from my melted earrings, I think an engraved Constitution would fit right nicely into that spot.
Now, can I have a Senate seat, please?