Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Things I’ve Done While Sleep Deprived

  1. Totally stuck my tongue out at the 80s CD collection infomercial when they said I couldn’t gather those songs, not ever. Oh, infomercial people who still think we’d pay $16 per CD, this ain’t Sam Goody 1992, yo! Also! CDs! How cute!
  2. Downloaded Kenny Rogers and Sheena Easton’s We’ve Got Tonight
  3. Played that song really loud in the car and tried to sing both parts (fail)
  4. Cried a flood-stage river because my kitchen floor was dirty
  5. Read the comments on this post about Neville Longbottom and howled (they're hilar and will make those of you who’ve watched far too much Brit TV feel not so alone. And YES, comment #2443511, he should play Bertie Wooster.)
  6. Reached around while in the car at a red light and smashed the spider that was crawling on Proximo’s arm.
  7. Operate a moving vehicle. 
  8. Watched the same episode of So You Think You Can Dance fourteen times because I kept passing out cold in the middle.
  9. Discovered Pawn Stars. I could watch that show all day. Or until I passed out cold.
  10. Forgotten to take out my contacts...a lot...
  11. Traded obscene amounts of Popsicles for 10 more minutes of sleep.
  12. Bought bean sprouts and cabbage for a dish I decided not to make. I decided NOT to make it before I got to the cash register, but bought them anyway?
  13. Forgotten what to do with a cabbage, accidentally purchased or otherwise.
  14. Burned dinner. Who does that? What a rookie move! I haven’t burned a dinner in 10 years. 
  15. Tried to read a Foreign Policy article entitled “Everything You Know About The Collapse of the Soviet Union is Wrong.” I’ve been trying to read it for five days. How do they know that everything I know is wrong? How can I prove Foreign Policy's assumption of my level of Soviet knowledge is mistaken if I can’t concentrate enough to read the whole thing? Oh, Foreign Policy, you smartypants, you win.
  16. That last point took me two days to write and I'm still not sure it makes sense.


Emily said...

I am seriously laughing! Best list ever! (And I trade obscene amounts of Kix cereal and Goldfish crackers for sleep ALL THE TIME.)

jennyonthespot said...

My dirty floor made me cry too. ANd that popscicle thing... TOTALLY smart :)

vanessa said...

heck yes I have spent so many hours watching pawn stars. BUT have you watched hard core pawn? (i am not joking it is a store and a show)

lacey said...

hahaha! i'm far from being a mommy (far as in no boyfriend. no fiance. no husband.) but this list made me literally LOL, and i do not say that very often. you make being sleep deprived sound fun! :-)

Seymour Chase said...

there must be something about "we've got tonight" and newborn induced sleep deprivation. at some pt in my haze it became: "let's change a dide; who wants a wet one? let's change a dide, babe; let's make it dry" and i'd sing it to my daughter.

kami @ said...

I feel a duet coming on next Karaoke Night: "We've got Tonight". :)

Good Times at your house! :)

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog....omggg I am with you on the re-watching SYTYCD because of falling asleep in the middle. I do that with pretty much everything, I usually can't sit through anything past 10 pm. Having a baby has made me an old person. :( lol.

Erin O. said...

Things I have done while sleep deprived:
-Consumed 1/3 box of Golden Oreos as dinner. For 3 nights in a row.
-Wore my 'house shoes' out to run errands. Twice. (House Shoes = lime green crocs. Shut up. I know.)
-Watched the teaser trailer for the upcoming season of RHWO Beverly Hills and thought, "Oh, hell yes, I'm setting my DVR for that."

;) Hang in there, yo.

Chi-townRawlins said...

I've never attempted to read anything from Foreign Policy. Is it like trying to read The Economist? Because if it is, I totally get you. I like to pretend to be informed, so there it sits on my side table. But have I ever gotten through it? The probability of me ever doing so is right up there with me ever walking to the moon. I mean, it would be nice and all, but...

Doing things whilst sleep deprived becomes an art, am I right? Sometimes I arrive at 1 PM and am not entirely sure how I got there.

So glad I found this blog.