On mornings when your kid has woken up two hours earlier than normal, and is screaming at you to close the flaps behind him when he's playing in a large cardboard box, it's really hard not to quickly grab the duct tape and really close the box.
When you're trying to put in your contacts, the kid may tear off a piece of bread and throw it in the toaster for his brother. He might come to you a few minutes later to say that the toast is beginning to taste like fireworks.
If you're trying to find a shirt and there happen to be some sirens and fire engine sounds from the street, your kid will probably run to the living room, open the window, and push out the screen to get outside.
Just try not to lose it, OK?
And after the second toaster incident of the day ("I was trying to make toast for people") one might be forgiven for shoving all your offspring into their room and shutting the door in the vain hope of containing the radioactivity to only one location.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
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12 comments:
Hahaha, I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard you say.
Mothering is pure joy, isn't it? I love your posts.
Might I suggest you unplug your toaster? Oh yeah. Your kid is way to sharp to let that one deter him. Hmmm. Unplug it AND get some of those kid-proof outlet covers? No, then you'd had fried-kid when he tries to use a butter knife to pry it off. Hide the toaster in your closet? Get a set of handcuffs from your local S&M store and chain him up every time you leave the room?
"I was trying to make toast for people."
In my head, that line is said in a Nacho Libre voice, i.e. "Did you not tell heem they were the Lord's cheeps?" "I was trying to!"
mmmmm firework toast, sounds yummy and pretty dang funny.
that kid is well on his way to a nobel peace prize...
it's the busy ones that grow up to be the great minds
just watch
Just in case, you may want to invest in a year's supply of duck tape.
Thanks guys, but I already have some token Asian friends.
gotta love boys!
Oh oh oh! I kept cringing the further I read. I applaud your self control.
And have you switched the door handle to their rooms around so the lock is on the outside? That was the only thing to save my sanity with my oldest (who still gives me hell daily, but who is also old enough to pick the lock if I should choose to lock him in his room).
Aw, man! Those are tough days. I've had 'em.
You're so sparkly. And innovative.
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